The Conversations You Keep Avoiding Are the Ones Hurting You Most
Jun 09, 2026I bet when you got married you had no idea that you were signing up for a set of UNRESOLVAVLE issues. Things that your spouse loves, and you, not so much. And things you love, and your spouse, not, so, much.
How do you both deal with these differences.
Do you pout? Throw around some guilt comments, "I always do EVERYTHING you want, but you never do what I want."
What about their habits? Do you find their cloths, around the laundry basket? There dishes just outside the sink? Makeup covering your bathroom counter? And what responses come out first? Stomping around, muttering under your breath. Slamming doors? Or silently reprimanding/complaining in your mind?
What's missing here is not your spouse suddenly jumping on board with what you expect of them, no matter how right you think your way is or how much you want them to enjoy the things you enjoy.
I heard a Pastor say it perfectly. What is missing in all these scenarios is not consideration. It’s not understanding. They are not adults who never grew up. "What is missing is the feeding and the weeding. Limiting, or eliminating, the things that cause the disconnect."
So here is the question, how do you manage your differences?
It's time for some give, with no take expected.
An example. My hubby does not enjoy shopping at all. He goes into a store with a map, compass, and a timer. If his time is up and there are still items on the list, well then it wasn’t a necessity! As much as I love shopping with him, I know our differences and I manage them by just going shopping with someone who enjoys shopping. From his perspective, I leave cups and water bottles around the house. I know he shakes his head with each one he picks up, but he manages it with, as he recently told me, a mindset on serving his wife.
What is one thing that you can do to manage your differences today?
What is one way you can celebrate your differences this week?
~Sam~
If this resonated with you, read these next:
It’s Not “Me vs You”… It’s “We”: How Small Choices Shape a Strong Marriage
Why Your Arguments Keep Escalating (And What’s Really Underneath the Anger)
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